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Sansa Stark Rocks

sansaWow, I’ve just been visiting a particular forum dedicated to George RR Martin’s epic series ‘Song of Ice and Fire’, and my overriding memory of the experience is surprise at the sheer quantity of Sansa hatred out there.  In my esteemed opinion Sansa is one of the best written and most intriguing characters in the whole series. She’s developing and growing more than any other character. Despite this it’s clear that there is no more hated character in House Stark than Sansa. I’d wager she is even more hated than her pain in the arse mother.

Catelyn Stark - Twice as annoying as Jar Jar Binks and three times harder to kill

What did Old George do to bring such wrath down upon Sansa? Well … he wrote a realistic portrayal of your average teenage girl. Yup, it’s just that bad, seriously, the next time you’re thinking of writing a character that you want people to loath just picture a naïve 13/14 year old girl with say a Robert Pattinson obsession and you’re sorted.

As sure as the sun rises in the east such a portrayal will get people discussing your work with erudite and philosophical musings similar to the following:

“I hope Sansa ends up getting her head chopped off. That would be poetic justice.”

 “Sansa is sooo annoying and selfish. I hope she gets killed off.”

 “Sansa’s selfishness and stupidity got her father killed, I’d rather see her die than Cersei. At least Cersei is interesting.”

And my personal favourite …

“Sansa deserves to be raped, humiliated and tortured to death.”

Yup, apparently naïve teenage girls who believe in fairytales and just want everything to be ‘nice and pretty like in the stories,’ deserve to be raped and or murdered in the most gruesome fashion Old George can devise. (And knowing George RR Martin that’s pretty damn gruesome.)

Now, I’ll admit when I first read Game, Sansa was far from my favourite, character, I thought she was a spoilt, selfish, brat. But hey how many girl’s in her position wouldn’t be? What makes her character so great is not just that it is realistic but that more than any other character in the series she is developing and changing. Believe me, Sansa is going to be one major badass before Old George is done. I for one would much rather see somebody like her bring down Cersei and co. than I dunno … cough … DANY.

Sansa Stark

Tell me this is not on the way to being a major badass

Yup, Sansa Stark rocks.

3 Simple Ways to Create a Successful Blog

Ever wonder why your blog is languishing with a mere 50 hits a day despite all your kick ass content and awesome, well constructed musings? Well fear not! Just follow these three steps and you’ll be enjoying bandwidth issues and server crashes in no time!

Step 1. Stick up a picture of Robert Pattinson.

r patIt’s just that simple! Seriously, take a look at my stats, BP and AP – And yeah I know they’re pants, but, I believe the more erudite amongst us should be able to extrapolate.

  • Before Pattinson – 15 hits per day mainly from the missus and next door neighbour.
  • After Pattinson – 250 per day.

As you can no doubt discern, that’s a twentyfold increase off just one picture. It stands to reason that putting up 655 pictures of R-Pat (especially ones where he’s looking particularly vampirey) will result in a minimium of 163, 750 hits per day.

Now, admittedly most of those hits will be down to horny teenage twilight fans doing Google searches for “Robert Pattinson moody,” or “Sexy Vampire Robert,”  which I’m guessing is not exactly your target audience (well unless you’re gunning for the cream of the literati) but hey it’s a start right?

Step 2. Once you have enough Robert Pattinson pictures to be generating 163, 750 hits per day its time to take it up a notch.  Yup, that’s right, time to talk about how much you’re loving Game of Thrones.

Game of ThronesUnfortunately actually talking about something is a bit more involved than prowling for pictures of R-Pat – it actually requires a modicum of writing ability. But, hey isn’t that what blogging is supposed to be about anyway? Besides, today’s skilful blogger can always find ways around actually attempting to analyse the intricacies of GRRM’s plot by simply talking about the Game of Thrones TV series instead. Score!!

(N.B)  Repeatedly mention HBO’s tendancy to overdo the sex scenes, and fire up at least a half dozen pictures of cast members refering to how perfectly suited they are to their respective roles. (HINT) Focus particularly on:

Tyrion Game of ThronesDany

Dany Targaryen Jon Snow

Jon Snowand Sansa

Sansa StarkYou can mix Sansa up with Arya if you want to keep people on their toes, oh, and while you’re at it if you accidently slip in another pic of Robert Pattinson looking particularly pale and Vampire-like no harm done.

vampire pattinsonStep 3. If after having done all the above you still haven’t reached the million a day mark don’t lose hope! There is one final uber trick in the bag … Write a crappy blog post with a title something along the lines of “3 simple ways to create a successful blog” Post a link to it up on twitter, sit back and enjoy the show!

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